i’ve been feeling politically black pilled recently

Shout out to all zero of my readers. Warning: this may make you sad. It may be the content that does that, alternatively it may be the quality of my utterly unedited writing that does that. I hear TLP only posts while drunk and doesn’t edit. It shows. I choose weed, thanks.

I haven’t been feeling great in the past week or so. Part of it is personal issues. Part of it is is a feeling of political hopelessness. I realized recently that anytime anyone declares that they “want to make a difference in the world” and “want to do good,” they basically seem to accept that this excludes 99% of all jobs available to them. It’s depressing because they’re right.

Some of our brightest psychological minds work for Twitter, Facebook, Google, optimizing their sites for addiction. The Coke company alone is probably responsible for directing the work of a thousand talented, creative artists. What do they make? They make sure that their company’s brand of body destroying anti-food is a globally recognized brand, with about 98% (unsure on the number, I looked it up on Google yesterday and the prospect of seeing it again is viscerally unappealing) of ALL FUCKING HUMANS ALIVE recognizing the Coke brand.

The entire advertising industry fits in to a similar brainspace for me as status goods — we’ve only figured out how to get so many good schools (probably by just excluding lower income students), and so people spend massive chunks of their income on rent/mortages to make sure their kids can go to school. There’s only so many slots, and they have to out-bid everyone else. This is what people spend 50–60 hours a week working for $Megacorp for. There’s only so many slots for “this is a soda I like to drink” and Coke sure doesn’t want to lose their access to those brain slots. Same with all of SEO. Same with buying ads on Amazon Marketplace, only to see them duplicate your product and your sales spike down. This is efficiency — billions of social media users spending hours of their lives so Zuckerburg’s media conglomeration can make the pathetic sum of $.60 per user-hour. Not even $.60 in profit, that’s raw revenue, baby. This is what we have QAnon for. Go read some stories of how QAnon has stolen people’s families. Or don’t. Probably don’t.

Ironic that the first time I’ve written on a blog about cultivating meaning is about how i’ve failed to do that in this moment. I think it might be important to have a baseline, if i claim to be a self improvement blog. Look, I was *here* and now I’m *wherever* in 2 years. Here’s how I did it. I don’t know. I’m here now. Whatever.

Even the people doing good in the world are so fucking abstracted they can’t see it. The person who designed my water bottle probably didn’t think anything of it. They didn’t own their work, so why should they think of it. The fact that it helps me stay hydrated probably means little to them — there were already 100 other patented water bottle designs before they came along, I’m not sure that this one is unique in any meaningful way, I wonder if they know whether it is. Maybe the designers of every feature I like about my water bottle actually had them ripped off by $Water-bottle-corp.

I’m unsure if I’ve even used my water bottle enough for it to be environmentally friendly. I don’t understand the production impacts of my reusable water bottle versus the shitty plastic ones. I’m fairly sure at least the reusable one isn’t made by baby-killing, child slavery using Nestle, so maybe that’s a minor win. I thought my local brand wasn’t Nestle, but it turns out Ozarka is just rebranded Nestle. I could figure it out, it’d just take an hour or two and would probably be upsetting and I still would wonder something similar for every other object present in my life.

It feels like psychopathy is reworded under capitalism. I say “feels like” only because I’m depressed and under confident. We *know* that Fortune 500 CEOs have much higher degrees of psychopathy than the rest of the population. The transes have autism. The CEOs have psychopathy. We have a good explanation for why the transes are autistic, and I’m happy to take Occam’s Razor on the CEOs. I think what you might call “systemic racism” you could just term “psychopathy.” My church, family, and school taught me to care about the “poor.” Just never to do anything that seriously engaged with their needs or wants. And only if they’re deserving (ie, demonstrate they’re sufficiently culturally like us). Anyone with mental illness or who is a bad person from a bad environment deserves where they are. Anxiety inducing logic for someone as unstable as me.

In the past decade or so, Germany has experienced a 12% decrease in miles traveled by car, and a 11% decrease in car related deaths. America, since covid, has experienced a 10%ish decrease in miles traveled, and a 10%ish increase in car deaths. Our government only cares about you if you have a car (aren’t poor). My state has had a car-related death every day for the past 20 years, totally over 75,000 deaths. We refuse to invest in public transit, because that’s hippy shit.

This is a tiny snapshot of shit echoing around my head. The suburbs are destroying the environment. Alex Jones is right that the frogs are gay, and right that it’s bad. The Great Pacific Garbage patch is probably over stated but also incredibly serious. Insulin costs hundreds of dollars. The world’s most effective anti-depressant is 40 years old, dirt cheap, and thus,,, will never be approved -no profit. My childhood’s culture will most likely be owned by the Disney corporation forever. Copyright Day will probably have to end eventually. Apple kills your phone intentionally. Lightbulb companies deliberately cut your lightbulb lifespan. Everything is consumable now, from clothes to lives to computing. Cigarette companies are making a comeback with vapes now. Software is eating the world, but is so shit Google just doesn’t let its AI vision identifies monkeys because it can’t consistently distinguish them from black people. There are dozens of people we literally know are innocent rotting in jail. The Chicago PD run a black site where they kidnap people. I will not rate another human being anything less than a 5 when their ability to pay rent depends on it, but I’m close enough to gig labor that they could be me. Rich boomers don’t give a shit, they’re too busy paying 50k/year to send their kids to a private school they detest because they aren’t really in control either. We didn’t start the fire, but it might literally destroy the planet. There’s no conclusion to this, at least not yet. Give me some years.

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Meaning Is Cultivated

Meaning Is Cultivated

I blog about zoomer problems and how to feel good. Pfp from thispersondoesnotexist.com Tweeting @ meaningismade